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6d 1924 THE WAY IS THE GOAL
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Werfel and Hulda are walking on the way to the camp of the
pioneers up the hill. Hulda is walking in a sustained rhythm,
and Werfel is barely keeping pace with her.
WERFEL (short
of breath:) Wait, wait! Where are you going?! Please, don't
run so fast!
HULDA What's
the matter with you? You're only 33 years old!
WERFEL Oh!
You know my age?
HULDA I know
a lot more than that. You'd be surprised. I was a great admirer
of your early poetry. You were the idol of my youth.
WERFEL Your
youth? How old are you now?
HULDA Almost
23.
WERFEL Oh!
What a decrepit old lady!
HULDA If
you want to crack jokes, you'd better return to the broken
car, and join your frustrated grumbling woman.
WERFEL Alma
is not a frustrated woman.
HULDA But
she is. And how! Who wouldn't be, in her place, after what
Mahler did to her? Her destiny is the typical fate of creative
women in our time: she was given a glimpse of her potential,
and then violently robbed of her vocation. All she's been
able to do ever since is to take revenge on creative men who
follow their calling and shape our times. In my mind she is
the epitome of our Zeitgeist.
WERFEL How
do you know all about her? Was she also the idol of your youth?
HULDA I knew
Kokoschka and Gropius.
WERFEL Did
you have affairs with them?
HULDA Are
you interested in gossip?
WERFEL Sure!
HULDA I'm
not.
WERFEL Would
you mind telling me your plans as far as I'm concerned?
HULDA I wouldn't
have proposed to accompany you, if I didn't feel you were
standing at a crossroads in your life.
WERFEL I
am, am I?
HULDA I've
read every work you ever published. You were a very promising
poet, and since you became Alma's plaything, you've become
a very successful writer. But the unique sound of your true
voice remains unexpressed.
WERFEL If
you're insinuating that Alma is distracting me from my vocation,
I want you to know that she is the best thing that ever happened
to me!
HULDA Or
the worst catastrophe. It all depends. As long as you stick
to her, she will keep you fettered within the borders of European
provincial culture.
WERFEL Oh!
Those are very broad boundaries.
HULDA But
are they your boundaries?
WERFEL You
mean, I have to break my ties with German culture, and come
to your Eretz Israel? To start a new existence? No, thank
you. The German language is my language. The European culture
is my culture. Pluck me out of it, and I'm a dead man.
HULDA Stick
to it, and you're a dead writer.
WERFEL But
I have obligations, I have relationships! For instance: I
have a strong relationship with Alma.
HULDA I've
been watching you for the last couple of days. All you have
with her is a substitute relationship, a fetish.
WERFEL One
thing I know for sure: I have a sexual relationship with her.
That at least is beyond any doubt!
HULDA I haven't
had the privilege of watching you have sex with her, but I
wonder if it isn't just another fetish.
WERFEL “Just
another fetish”? - I know that I perform marvellously
well. Both of us do. We have never encountered any problems
of malfunction. Whenever there is a demand from one partner,
the other is there to supply it, and the goods are delivered
with extreme punctuality of timing, quantity and quality to
the total satisfaction of both parties involved.
HULDA And
you always know when to stop? Just at the right moment…?
WERFEL On
the contrary! The truth is: we can't stop. We are both screaming
for help! “That's murder”, she yells at me, “carry
on! Slaughter me!” But I can't stop no matter what. We
are both so voluptuous! Sometimes it becomes painful... But
I don't spare her. In the beginning of our relationship -
she was already seven months pregnant - it wasn't clear if
it was my baby or Walter Gropius's - but I couldn't care less
- I lashed and smashed at her like a steam-hammer -- in the
morning the room looked like a slaughterhouse - the poor baby
was born so damaged that it didn't last ten months, the poor
thing my little Martin, my son! - You call that just another
fetish?
HULDA When
nothing is real, the only concrete thing that remains beyond
doubt is pain. Physical pain. Therefore the best service you
can provide one another is to inflict pain, torture and humiliation.
And this is the rotten stuff that you are doomed to ruminate
on, over, as long as you insist on writing only within the
limits of the declining Occidental civilization.
WERFEL You
propose that I come and stay with you?
HULDA No,
I invite you to set out with us on a journey.
WERFEL A
journey? Where to?
HULDA There
is no „where“. We have no goal. It's the journey
that counts. The way is the goal.
WERFEL Yes,
but every way must lead somewhere!
HULDA No!
This is your limited way of thinking. We are on the way.
WERFEL Always
on the way?
HULDA Yes.
Always on the way. - When we left Europe, we opened up everything.
You see, we are living temporarily on that mountain. We work
during the day, and at night we sit together and discuss our
future. We don't know yet what form of life we're going to
create for ourselves. We know that it's going to be different
from anything that's ever existed, but we don't know yet what
it will look like. We don't even know what form we will give
to relationships between the sexes. We know that we don't
want the master--slave relationship of couples, but we don't
know yet what's going to replace it. All choices lie open
before us. I invite you to join us. To be part of our adventure.
WERFEL I'll
be frank with you: it scares me.
HULDA Why?
Why?! Give yourself the chance to become a child again.
WERFEL A
child?! What exactly do you mean by that?
HULDA A child
doesn't know the names of things. (She touches Werfel's face:)
A child touches things for the first time. Like I'm touching
you now. It's not »An Author« I'm touching or
»A Man«. What is it? It's flesh. No. It's naked
matter. It's nakedness. Darkness. What do you feel?
WERFEL I
feel so strange.
HULDA Hush.
Don't talk.
WERFEL I
don't know what's happening to me. I'm sweating all over.
Is it the climate?
HULDA No,
it's the excitement.
WERFEL I
feel so stupid! I'm trying to think of something to say -
HULDA Stop
thinking for a while. Let yourself be.
WERFEL ,You
were trembling, so I thought you were afraid -
HULDA I'm
trembling from the nice feeling. What should I be afraid of?
WERFEL I
thought you were afraid I would lose control -
HULDA On
the contrary: lose control.
WERFEL You
mean -
HULDA I mean
nothing. Don't be so tense. It's not an operation.
WERFEL I
am not tense.
HULDA You
are tense as a coil. . Let yourself go. Stop trying so hard.
.
WERFEL I…
it's strange, but I… I've never felt so close… so
close to my real self. I have almost… a feeling of happiness.
Yes…! A feeling of happiness! I know that you're right.
You must be. The future lies here… it lies here, I can
even smell it… the Orient… How is it possible? I'm
holding you in my arms, and I can feel… I can feel…
that somnolent monster… whose hair is dipped in the Mediterranean…,
its feet are paddling the Pacific Ocean…, while it's
heart is beating here… in Canaan… where God first
spoke to Man... where he invited them… to take part in
your adventure... in your adventure… in…
HULDA This
is your salvation! This is your salvation! There is no possible
salvation in the world without a return! The return of life
to its origin, to its roots! We're members of a dispersed
People! Dispersed all over the globe! Stay with us, Franz,!
Franz, stay with us. And you will find your voice. The voice
which has been never heard before! The unborn voice. The voice
of a child…!
WERFEL Yes,
yes, I'm staying, I will. I will do it, yes!! I will stay!
I will stay with you! I'll stay! I'll stay!!
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