12e UNDER THE SPELL OF THE BEWITCHING DOLL
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Hermine Moos, the Munich puppetier with a worker an the Almaniac.
HERMINE Come, mate, will you lend us a hand?
PROLET God forbid! I won't come near it.
HERMINE You are from the packing company, aren't you?
PROLET Madame, I've packed in my career all kinds of dirty things, but this is too much to ask of a honest man.
HERMINE What's wrong with you?
PROLET This is a monster. An evil witch. I can feel her dark power. If I touch her, something awful will happen to me.
HERMINE Are you crazy?
ALMANIAC He's right. (To Prolet) If you are afraid of strong erections, don't come near her.
PROLET You said strong erections?
ALMANIAC Yes mate, touch her and you'll get the most tremendous erections you've ever had in your life.
(Prolet starts to help the Almaniac to handle the doll. He touches her with great reverence, as if she were a sacred relic.)
PROLET (To HERMINE, very suspicious) Is it true?
HERMINE Sure. She has also the power to make your cock grow to king size dimensions.
PROLET (Incredulous) Come on!
ALMANIAC Tell him what happened to your friend.
HERMINE Which one of them?
ALMANIAC That sailor, who became a porno star.
HERMINE He won't believe me.
PROLET What happened to him?
HERMINE Max had an average, medium size cock.
ALMANIAC Seventeen centimeter, when up in arms.
HERMINE seventeen and a half, but he was not satisfied with it.
ALMANIAC Who is satisfied with the dick he got? Are you satisfied with yours?
PROLET Shut up! What happened to him?
MAINA Maxi always wanted a bigger thing.
ALMANIAC Who doesn't. Don't you?
PROLET Hold your trap! (To HERMINE) Go on!
HERMINE I made this woman specially for him.
PROLET And - What happened to him?
HERMINE He touched her and---
ALMANIAC His hose doubled.
HERMINE Almost. It grew only to 28.
PROLET He got 28 centimeters?
HERMINE And a half.
ALMANIAC You see, she can add only one decimeter to the thing you've got.
how long does it take?
HERMINE It takes some six weeks, sometimes seven.
ALMANIAC But the hard-ons you get!
HERMINE Oh, Maxi, where are you, my stallion? I can't get you out of my mind!
ALMANIAC Elle aime l'amour qui fait mal!
PROLET What's that?
HERMINE You'll have to find a woman who loves when it really hurts.
PROLET That's exactly the problem with my fucking bitch. All she wants is more and more! I come home after a long days labour, and there she is: come on Ruddi! Do your job! Give her always more and more! The fucking horny bitch
ALMANIAC You won't believe me mate, but Alma will do it for you.
PROLET You mean---
ALMANIAC Kiss her tits, and she'll make you perform for hours.
PROLET Really? (He kisses the doll's tits)
ALMANIAC You'll do it five times on end.
HERMINE What's wrong with seven?
PROLET Seven times?
ALMANIAC On a good night. Your bitch will scream:
HERMINE No! Ruddi! Stop it! It's murder! Help! God! You're blasting me! Kill me! Kill me! Fais moi mal! Ruddi! Fais moi mal!
PROLET My Gudrun doesn't speak French.
ALMANIAC She will. Take the Alma treatment, and your Gudrun will perorate in fluent French and she'll sing whole arias in Italian.
PROLET How can it be ---?
ALMANIAC Doesn't the name Alma say anything to you?
PROLET No, who was she?
ALMANIAC She was some woman! She was the epitome of femininity.
PROLET Did you know her?
ALMANIAC Oh, yes. Oh, yes
PROLET She's got perfect tits, this I must say
ALMANIAC Speaking about her tits, they were much bigger than that.
HERMINE I made them according to the measures he sent me.
ALMANIAC Forget the measures he sent you. Her breasts were hanging all the way down to her navel.
HERMINE Look! Here are the specifications.
ALMANIAC Forget the specifications. She hugged me when I was ten. My head reached hardly her tommy. To this day I can feel the weight of her tremendous tits resting on the top of my head. That's what stopped me from growing higher. You must blow up her breasts.
HERMINE I tell you I did everything according to the measures Kokoschka sent me.
PROLET Who is Kokoschka? Is she another witch?
HERMINE It's not she, it's he. He's some crazy painter from Dresden.
PROLET All artists are crazy these days.
HERMINE You tell me about them
PROLET A truck driver who came from Zurich told me an artist has put a latrine in the museum!
PROLET Yes! The truck driver was going to pee in it, but they almost arrested him! They told him it was a work of art! Can you imagine? A latrine in a museum! And you are not allowed to piss in it!
HERMINE It's Unbelievable!
ALMANIAC The pubic hair is also not the right colour.
HERMINE Give me a break with her pubic hair! It is exactly the colour he wants.
ALMANIAC It can't be true.
HERMINE Here, have a look.
(She unrolls a scroll with Kokoschka's Alma drawing.)
PROLET Is this her?
HERMINE That's what he sent me.
PROLET Her skin has these things on it, like my Gudrun's thighs
HERMINE That's what happens to women at a certain age
PROLET What is that crazy painter going to with her?
HERMINE I don't want to know.
ALMANIAC He will take her out for promenades in the streets of Dresden.
ALMANIAC Yes. He will even take her to the Opera, and to the theatre.
PROLET You're kidding, man!
ALMANIAC No kidding. He will even hire a maid to take care of her, to dress her, to comb her, to clean her skin.
PROLET He must be mad, this poor cock-cock-shka .
ALMANIAC It's Kokoschka, not cock-cock-shka.
PROLET He must be mad as a hatter.
ALMANIAC He is, my friend, he is. As are all the men who came under her spell. (He sniffs her.) There's one thing missing, though.
HERMINE What's that?
ALMANIAC It's her secret perfume. (He draws a small flacon from his pocket, and sprinkles the puppet with the perfume. )
PROLET (He smells the perfume, and starts moaning and groaning like a horny pig. He gets fixed on HERMINE and starts to approach her, He is obviously sexually aroused.)
HERMINE Hey, hey! Mate! Take it easy! Take it easy!
(To the Almaniac) Give him the antidote! Quickly! Before he'll rape everything that has two legs!
(The Almaniac sprays the Prolet with an antidote. They finish their job and HERMINE goes to the next scene. )